Asking the Question
This summer, our church spent another summer in the Psalms. There are so many Psalms that it will take a few summers to get through them all! However, I was stuck on one specific Psalm again this year… It seems I have a hard time following directions to try to read one Psalm each day with everyone else. Maybe I just have a hard time following directions!
Last summer, we had a worship night where we were given an opportunity to spend time reading a suggested Psalm and listening for God’s voice through that Psalm. I chose Psalm 27 (so maybe I’ve been stuck there since last summer…). I opened the Bible, and my eyes fell straight to verse 7:
“Hear, O Lord, when I cry aloud;
be gracious to me and answer me!”
I initially had a hard time with that verse. I felt like I was calling out to God, and He wasn’t answering me; He wasn’t being gracious to me; I felt like I was crying out to no one. I sat and asked God why He wasn’t answering me.
Then I heard Him say, “Why aren’t you asking your question?” I was dumbfounded. I thought I was waiting for God to answer me, and yet I hadn’t actually asked the question! So, I asked God my question, “What is your will for my life?”
A little background: My life is a little different than I had expected growing up… I grew up with an expectation that someday I would get married and have my own family. And a few years ago, I felt God leading me into a life of ministry as I left my life in the corporate world for where He was leading me next. Ultimately, I was asking for a timeline of when my expectations will become reality without realizing that God is already working in these spaces, just differently than I had originally imagined.
After asking God my question, God brought me up to verse 4:
“One thing have I asked of the Lord,
that will I seek after:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord
and to inquire in his temple.”
There I was, asking God when I can do what I want for Him, and He brought me back to Himself. God doesn’t want me for what I can do for Him. He just wants me! He wants me to seek His face, to dwell with Him in His house, to ask my questions, to spend time simply being present.
This past year has been a time for me to learn how to be present with God and others. I’m finding new ways to be involved in my community and with others around me. More importantly, God is showing me how to seek Him first instead of what I can do for Him. It’s a hard and sometimes painful process as God reshapes my thinking, but it’s also so good to see how God is working in my life.
This summer, my reminder to seek God and allow Him to do the ongoing hard work is in verses 13-14:
“I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living!
Wait for the Lord;
be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the Lord!”
Even though my current reality is different than my original expectations, God is still good! And I see His goodness in my life and the world around me right now. I have friends and their families around me who I get the opportunity to spend time with. I also get to support others in a variety of areas and find ways to connect with my community in new and exciting ways. I can wait for His timing on what’s next and know that God has me exactly where He wants me right now, both to learn what He’s teaching me in this season and to support and connect with others around me in ways that He has gifted me.
Amanda Edin
Executive Assistant